Jessica over at The Macs did a series of posts about friendships and I thought it would be fun to join in. Thus far from her posts, I've been the most happy to learn that I am not alone in thinking that maintaining friendships gets so much harder as we age. It was fun in highschool to be the girl with all the friends but now I find myself shying away from new people because I know that I do not have any extra time to give them. Nurturing a new relationship to the point of a true friendship takes a lot of time. And time is something I don't have a lot of these days.
I would say I have 8 or 9 really good friends and then probably a dozen more close friends that I know would be there for me at the drop of a hat. I truly feel blessed to have this many friends, considering that quite frankly, I feel like I suck at keeping up my end of most friendships. I don't answer my phone 99.9% of the time, I hate that awkward small-talk when you haven't seen someone for awhile, I hate making plans, and would actually consider myself a loner. I need that down time. I need time in my room by myself, time to lay on the couch and do nothing, and time just to be away from everything. After "me" time comes "family" time, which leaves little time for me to invest into my frienships. I know that is something I need to work on.
First and foremost, I have my sister. We did not get along growing up at all. Maybe we were just normal sisters fighting but it sure felt like we fought more than the average bear. We fought about everything from what radio station we listened to in the car to me wearing her clothes. I remember literally being suprised when she asked me to be the Maid-of-Honor at her wedding. I really didn't think she liked me well enough! Now though, she is definitely my best friend in the most unconditional way that I've ever known. All those people that told us we would be the best of friends when we got older, you were right!
Moving on, I am lucky enough to still have a couple close friendships from highschool. These girls truly know me, who I am, where I come from, and what makes me "me". Unfortunately, we don't see each other as often as we would like but we are lucky enough to have desk jobs, which leaves them right at my fingertips all day long. Its nice to have them, be able to tell or ask them anything, and know I won't be judged.
Next on the list would be the two girls I work with. They literally know everything about me. They know what I did last night, what I ate for dinner, every last thing about Tylee, if I order something online, how much I weigh (its non-stop diet talk around there!), if Tj and I are fighting, if I have on new clothes, ect, ect, ect! Between the 3 of us, we have little stair step babies, have similar style, hobbies, and lives. I am so lucky to be able to show up for work everyday and literally work with my friends.
And last but not least, my "IRL" friends. I have one very best friend here in Parsons. She is my go-to person when I need anything big or small. She loves Tylee like her own and wears multiple friendship hats. One day she will babysit Tylee for me and the next we will be out running around like we are 15 again getting in trouble. In addition to her, I have a handful of other good friends within arms length that I see on a regular basis.
I'm very lucky to have that many close friendships. And that is just the tip of the iceberg! I have my family, my mommy-friends, my photography friends, my email buddies, my cooking buddies, my older group of ladies that are married to Tj's railroader friends...and so many more. But the best thing about all of this is that I get something different out of every single friendship. If I have a sick baby or need Motherly advice, I call Gina. If I want to go out dancing, I call Sam. If I need to know what my shutter speed should be, I ask Amanda. If I need a true and honest opinion, I call Darci. If I need to talk to someone about something super deep and serious, I talk to Chelsea.
The question all this leaves me pondering is what kind of friend am I? Am I the friend someone calls when they want to have fun? The friend I call when they need an honest opinion? Someone to call when they need a shoulder to cry on? I just don't feel like I am good at any of those things. I feel am so lucky to have all these great friends, yet I feel like I am just a mediocre friend to a bunch of people. Thats not a very good feeling and its got me thinking. Maybe I should invest a little more time into some of these friendships, so that people consider me one of their really good friends. That is what its really all about, right?

1 comment:

Chris and Darci said...

CHELSE TROLLOPE! you are a great friend! to me you are a friend I go to for "mom" talk, for "serious/deep" talk, for "gossip/fun" talk, for "advice" talk. To me, you are great at lots of different "friend" topics! Or maybe its just that I don't have many great friends? Dang it, now you have got me thinking! Ha!