8.31.2010

Love

This little girl melts my heart! I often think about how different my relationship is between my 3 neices and nephew (have I mentioned Brax is finally going to get a boy cousin on our side of the family? Yaah for Baby Boy Larson!) and wonder if it is the same when they are your own kids. If we had another, how would we feel about baby #2 compared to Tylee? I know we would love him/her as much but how would it differ? Would other people feel the same way about baby #2 as they did about baby #1? Do I have enough love to give? I know the answer, my sister has 4 kids and loves them all equally but it is a hard thing to comprehend. Brecca was the 1st baby of the family and I was nuts over her from Day 1. I lived in Chanute then and saw her literally every day the first 6 months of her life. I don't remember why I finally missed a day but I do remember being very upset. I'm sure Nathan and Lindsey just loved that I came over every single day for 6 months straight. No, really, I think they liked it. I don't remember what was going on in my life when Braylee was born but I do know that kids were the farthest thing from my mind. I think I was commuting to Pitt and working at the Alibi, which would probably be considered my "wild years". Everyone has those, right? I saw Braylee a lot but wasn't glued to her like I had been with Brecca. Priorities, I guess. Brax was born just a month before my wedding and moving into our house so again, I was selfish. As the kids grew, they each gained their own personality and Brecca was the only one that was truly attatched to me. Braylee is the funniest little girl I know but is very independent and could care less even if Taylor Swift walked into the room, let alone Aunt Chelse. I think Tylee and Braylee are going to be a lot alike. Brax was/is all boy and I remember being confused as to how to handle him. I wasn't used to boys and he was onery, always into everything and never the snuggly type.

Then I had Tylee and I realized how special these kids were. I really remember being like, "OMG! This is how Lindsey feels about each one of her kids! I never knew that she loved them this much!" It is crazy to even think now but I seriously didn't know. No clue! When I was just an aunt (aka not-a-mom), I was around and I made it to the important things but I completely underestimated how important those kids are to me. I blew things off, wasn't around, didn't hold the baby when I went over to the house, ect. Then I had Tylee and things have been so much different with Brynna! I appreciate the rolling over milestone. I care to ask Lindsey if she has tried cereal yet. I encourage nursing. I change her diaper. I watch her while Lindsey runs an errand. Heck, I would even keep her all night! It is CRAZY how much having a baby changes your perspective on every. single. thing in your life. Even how much you love your neices and nephew(s)!

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