I was all packed up to head to Kansas City to go to one of my brothers baseball games (he is the coach) and spend the night in Kansas City. We were all going up there for Mother's Day and rather than travel home late with Tylee, I had decided to just stay. I got the house picked up the night before and Tylee and I were loaded and ready to head north when I got off work at 4:30 that Friday. Little did I know that my packed bags would come in handy for something else.
You can all go read the story if you really want the details but one year ago today, we lost our roof in what sounded, felt, and appeared to be a tornado but was never officially declared. The weeks that followed were rough. I cried and cried and cried some more. I've written about how emotional it was several different times since and I'm not going to reharp the obvious. It was hard.
I was listening to a good friend of mine console another friend after losing her MIL and I heard her say, "If this is the hardest thing that your kids go through in their life, consider them lucky." I've thought that many, many times since losing our roof. I was thankful we were all okay and knew that it could've been much worse. But that still doesn't mean it wasn't one of the hardest things I've been through.
Unfortunately, hard things in life are always replaced by harder things. It seems as if everything you experienced in the past, wasn't near as rough as what you are going through at that moment. If I had to pick between losing my roof or go through losing Dutch again? I would lose my roof in a heartbeat. I know there is going to be something that is harder to deal with in my future and I'll look back and think, "Losing Dutch or _______?" And I'll pick that I would have rather lost Dutch, again. Ugh, it hurts to even type that but I know that it is true. My favorite quote (and only quote I can ever remember) is - "Everything is always okay in the end. If its not okay, its not the end." I would choose to lose my roof again over losing Dutch because that battle has already been fought. It's over and it doesn't even seem like it was that big of deal. But it is only okay, because is it over. It was not okay at the time. I would choose to lose our roof again because I'm not over losing Dutch. It's not okay because it's not the end. I do know that I will heal with time and that I'll be a better and stronger person from losing him. I've learned from every rough-patch in my life and it always makes the next one just a little bit easier because I've learned - its always okay in the end.