The baby is moving...and I can feel him/her! I guess I skipped the whole "butterlfy in your stomach" feeling and went straight for the kicks in the gut. I have no other way to explain it other than it feeling like someone is inside you wanting to get out! Put your palm face up and lightly tap your wrist with your other hand. That is what it feels like. It is such a neat feeling and this has completely gotten me excited. I've really been needing this since we didn't find out the sex. I've been waiting for something to make me super excited...and this is it! It is the most amazing feeling. Here are my 21 week pictures. I posted 19 weeks and 20 weeks by them so you can compare. I think I look bigger in the first one, ha. I am growing, I guess it really just depends on what I have on. I think I'm gonna stick to the same outfit once I find one that I like and is going to be clean every Wednesday. I'll work on that for next week! If you've seen me in person, I'm definately growing...and I LOVE IT!
Isn't it strange how fast priorities change? Saturday night we had some people over...just the normal people, kind of thrown together at the last minute. Those used to be the best gatherings...the last minute ones but for some reason, this one just wasn't the same. I had a good time at my house but once "the other wife" left, I was bored. Normally, "the other wife" wouldn't have left because we would've been the ones keeping the party going, offering drinks before anyone really needed one. But...I was tired and sober and they headed out. SO...Tj and the other 4 guys wanted to go to the bar. We haven't been to our favorite little bar since August (or before) so I was kinda excited about going. We walked in and saw lots of people that we knew. All the old regulars that I hadn't seen in along time, the owners, and actually a couple other of our good friends were there. Before...this would've been the perfect night for me. All my favorite people at my house and then off to my favorite bar. Boy have times changed. I was MISERABLE and couldn't wait for the hour to pass so we could go home. But, I couldn't even make it an hour and headed home with 15 minutes left before last call. I can't even begin to tell you how horrible I felt. I don't really know why...I guess I was just overwhelmed with guilt. It was smoky but not too smoky. It was loud but not too loud. I know that I wasn't doing anything wrong...going to the bar one time in 5 months with all of my good friends won't hurt me or the baby. It was just so strange for me, almost a surreal feeling. I guess I had a revelation...a revelation about how much we've already changed and how much more we are going to change in the next 5 months. I guess I just realized how much I already love this little person inside of me. For the first time in my life, someone else's best interest were first and foremost in my life without a second thought, just a natural process. I know there will be many more emotions and life-changing moments to come but it was great to get a glimpse into parenthood. Before I got pregnant, I openly admitted to several people that I was too selfish to have a baby and we were taking time for us. That was even confirmed by others in arguments here and there. :) However, the second we learned that we were responsible for another person inside of me, something changed. Something changed in our relationship, something changed inside Tj, and something changed inside me. The may've been small changes at first but man are they coming fast now! 10 months is along time to be pregnant but I honestly think a person needs that long to adjust to life and adapt to the changes coming your way. I definately never thought "my motherly instinct" would kick in. I thought that was a "learnt" thing...apparently not.
Can you believe it? I am halfway there! I am somewhere in between 19 and 20 weeks but my "day countdown" leaves me with 140 days left... (7days x 40 weeks = 280 days / 2 = 140 days)...which is halfway! I know it doesn't really count because I didn't know I was pregnant for the first 6 weeks but it has still flown by. Let's just hope the second half goes that fast! Again, in my head it is almost around the corner! (My next appointment is Febuary 13th which will come fast because of my birthday and V-day...at that point, we are halfway to March! I kinda skip March but the first of April we will send out shower invitations, the first of May we will have the shower. Then it's JUNE! Haha.) I still haven't felt the baby move but I know it's coming soon. I sure thought I felt a kick the other night but it's been 5 or 6 days since then and haven't felt anything else. I'm anxiously awaiting that. No news really but I do have a cute story. Our dog, Dutch, sleeps with TJ and I and usually starts out up against my body with his head towards my feet. Well, a couple nights ago, he laid facing me with his head on my belly! He has NEVER rested his head on my belly. It's like he knew something was going on in there. So last night I fell asleep on the couch on my side and he felt the need to sleep on my hip...right by my belly! I'm convinced he is aware of something but I'm anxious to see how this progresses. The only other thing is that I got my sister's maternity clothes which takes a HUGE weight off my shoulders. She has tons and all very cute! You'd think that girl had three kids or something! Oh wait...she does. Anyways, here are my pictures, same day/time...just the next week. I don't think I've expanded any this week but I figured I would document it anyways. Thanks for reading!
Just Kidding. We made it through without finding out! It was so much fun. I was a little disapointed because the last few sonograms I've seen were 3D. I went in expecting a little more than we got to see. I barely made it through this one and am not tempting myself with another one. Everything looked great. We counted all 10 fingers but steered clear of the toes so we didn't see something on accident. However...the baby was sitting indian style at one point and Tj saw a penis. I agree with him, there was "something" there but it could have been the ambilical cord. I wanted to see the the legs some more but she wouldn't go back down there unless we wanted to find out. The baby was doing somersaults and flipping from side to side the whole time. She said the baby was very active. After the fact, I am not disapointed at all that we didn't find out. I wondered if I would regret it but I don't. Of course, I haven't started looking for strollers or bedding yet either...
Well, here it is. I've been reading this blog at www.sundrymourning.com for a few months now and this lady has inspired me to start taking pictures. She has pictures from 20 weeks on. She tripled in size from 20 to 26 weeks so I decided it was time! As unflattering as it is, it is our baby and I love the belly. Speaking of babies...a lady came into work today with her 4 day old baby and I fell in love. I held it until she made me give it back and she was just so sweet and tiny. I can't wait!! Sonogram pictures are tomorrow so I'll be back soon with some pictures!
I almost can't believe that I am 18 weeks pregnant. I also can't believe that we could find out the sex next week and we aren't. Ha. I think that would make everything so much more real. At this point, I feel great, have a little baby belly that can easily be hid, my house is still in order: no baby room or baby clothes, crib, dresser, changing table...nothing. The room is cleaned out and vaccumed but that is all. I keep wondering when it is all going to sink in that in 20 more weeks we will have a baby and our lives will be forever changed. According to everyone I've talked to, things will rapidly start changing from this point on. I can say that I am VERY excited to have our sonogram next week and anxious to see an actual baby in my belly rather than just a mass. My last appointment was called short so I haven't seen anything since my 9 week appointment and there wasn't much to see at that point. Nothing real exciting going on other than my cravings have convienently changed since I've started having heartburn. Now I'm wanting spicy stuff: HotWings, Hot Wing Dip, Hot Fries, Boneless Hot Wings from Schwans...I guess it isn't spicy stuff, it's Hot Wings. Haha. I chalk some of that up to that being one of my favorite foods before I started Weight Watchers and I went without for along time. Guess I'll endulge while I can. One more quick thing. The other day we were at Wal-mart checking out and there was a whole rack of Gift Cards. Tj picked up the one that said, "DAD" and said, "This is what I'm going to be soon!" It was so cute. Thanks for reading and I'll have sonogram pictures soon!
I found the perfect color for the baby's room. We went to Home Depot this weekend and as I was flipping through the 100's of paint samples, I found a color that I am so excited about. I attatched pictures below but you can't really tell what color it actually is. It's a light grey and then I paired it with a pink sample and a blue sample. Both colors look adorable. So if we go with the grey walls, white trim, white blinds/doors and oak furniture...then I can buy white sheets and a white bedskirt for the crib. Everything is neutral and would be cute for either sex. I found some cute pink polka dot curtains and quilt online and then a really cute blue color quilt with plain blue curtains as well. I'm also looking for a big white "T" to hang on the wall but I haven't had much luck online. Any ideas? Actually, I've only looked on Pottery Barn Kids but I'm out of ideas. Haha. We go next Friday for our sonogram and I'll post pictures then. One of these days I'll get around to posting a picture of my baby belly but I just haven't had a good chance to get a picture. Maybe I'll put that on our "to do" list tonight. Thanks for reading.